It's continual.

This is really late....but I don’t understand Thanksgiving at all.

Just like I don’t understand Valentine’s Day.  If you love someone, you should show them that you love them every day.  There shouldn’t have to be a day where you remind them.  They shouldn’t need to be reminded.  Granted, humans are not perfect, and so sometimes we fall short and we need to remind those we care about that we do, in fact, care.  But for there to be a specific day for this doesn’t make sense to me.  Our love should be continual and ever present.  We should be spontaneous with our gifts, both concrete and abstract, and surprise our loved ones, because that will make them feel even better than a gift on a designated day could.  It shows them that we are thinking about them at the most arbitrary of times.

The same thing applies to Thanksgiving.  I’m thankful for all that I have every day I am alive, because the fact that I am still alive is something to be thankful for in itself.  With all of the obstacles and challenges I’ve experienced, life truly is a gift, even if I haven’t always recognized that fact.  And so I don’t understand why we have one day to be thankful.  We should embrace our gifts every day that we are alive.  Even if we lose sight of how blessed we are at times.  All it takes is a gentle push in the right direction, and we’ll remember all over again.

Be thankful every day....not just on Thanksgiving.

Just do it.

I over think everything.  I spend way too much time worrying about what could go wrong, and trying to plan out every single detail for so long that I end up having to rush to even get something done.  These blogs, for example.  I didn’t start until now because I was just so worried about everything that I could say, and how I could say it, that I just kept putting it off.

I’m a perfectionist, but that’s fatal in a world where perfection does not exist.

Also, I don’t start art until the last minute because I’m just SO scared to start.  I worry too much.  But, I think most of us do.  We spend too much time worrying about the destination, not the journey.  We forget that we can change things as we go, because no one gets it right the first time.  Life is filled with trial and error, but if you never even try, you can never succeed.  You can’t succeed unless you’re willing to fail.

But I’m not willing to fail, and perhaps it will be my downfall.

In order for me to become more developed as a being, I need to let go.  I need let myself learn, because life is a process.  But I always think I should just know how to do things automatically.  I expect too much of myself, which is both good and bad.  It’s the driving force that encourages me to always do my best, but it is also the thing which KEEPS me from doing my best.

In order to become the best person I can be, I need to start trusting myself, and that I will get to my destination, no matter how long the journey lasts.

Get a room

I’m not a huge supporter of strong emotions.  I believe that it takes a lot of capacity to be able to feel love, hate, loathing, true adoration, etc.  Thus, I don’t believe that we really love many people, nor do we really hate many people.  Many of the friends we say we love, we really don’t, and it’s just a combination of passive contentment and compatibility.

This is exactly why I get annoyed every time I see an “I love you babyyyy!!!!” on facebook.  One, because you most likely do not love that person.  You probably just say it as routine to everyone you date.  Because if you really meant it, you would say it to their face, not on a network where everyone in the world can see it.  And if they retaliated with, “it’s just because I’m not ashamed to let people know we’re in love,” I would come back with, “if you really loved them you wouldn’t care if people knew or not, and would just act like you really felt that way by respecting your emotional privacy.”

Real love needs no declaration.  Real love is evident within actions.  Real love is meaningful, not to be taken lightly, and taken for granted way too much.  Every time I see people proclaim their love for each other on facebook, I’m disappointed in the ignorance of society’s youth.

Seeing such a naive declaration of emotions they cannot even comprehend makes me cringe.  To really be capable of love, you must know a person completely.   You must feel their pain, feel their misery, feel their joy, and their hope.  You must be an extension of them, and they of you.  And the teenagers I see declaring their love for each other via facebook at every hour of the day, definitely do not have that.

Stay classy

I don’t understand the point of “winning the breakup.”

Be them broken up recently or long ago, it’s notorious that two people who used to be in a relationship are usually on bad terms.  They pretend to hate each other.  They talk smack.  They steal friends.  They lie, push, and shove themselves into the position where they think they’re winning the breakup.

That is, the position where they think more people have pity for them than for their ex.

First of all, I don’t understand why people want to be pitied.  I’d rather be commended for what I’m able to overcome than pitied for what I let bring me down.  Secondly, people don’t realize that by doing all of this, they’re really just turning themselves into a worse person.  I believe that the result of a breakup should be gaining knowledge.  Knowledge about yourself, what you need, what you can provide, and most importantly, how you can change yourself into a better person based upon the experiences you’ve had with a significant other.

I look at relationships as experiences and opportunities to grow; the last thing I would think to be logical is by devolving yourself by stooping down so low as “winning” requires.

Lastly, I don’t understand the point of hating an ex.  Unless they did some awful thing to you, there’s nothing really to hate.  They made mistakes, you made mistakes, and it was just another relationship that ran its course, no matter how long or short that happened to be.  Also, unless there was some drastic change in them, or your taste, they’re still the person you got into a relationship with.  Thus, they should still have that one quality that just gets to you; the one irresistible thing that makes them likable to you.  And because they have that, I believe that after a while, being friends with an ex is a really good thing.  Because obviously, there was something about them that made you like them more than you like other people, and it’d be a shame to lose that.

But I guess my point is that I don’t understand why more people don’t just get over it and move on, because it’s sure as hell not easy but it’s definitely not going to change.

I'll be everything you never expected me to be

I like to think that I modify my body because I like the way it looks, and maybe for some symbolic reasons, and that’s it.  But the truth is, there’s so much more to it than that, and the reasons are less than what you could call reasonable.  They’re crazy reasons, but we’re all a little crazy.

When I got my non ear piercing, I realized how people approached me differently.  Peers thought I was automatically a huge rebel.  Teachers expected me to slack off and be relatively two dimensional.  Parents hated that they thought I’d get their kids in trouble when we hung out.  Everyone thought the worst of me, but they were surprised to find out that their assumptions were wrong.

Of course I’m slightly rebellious, I’m a teenager.  But predominantly, I keep to myself and don’t do things that I really think are that wrong.  I’ve always taken school seriously, and didn’t stop because I started getting piercings and dying my hair.  And I’ve never been the friend to drag other friends into trouble.  I surprise people because they expect the worst of me based upon my appearance.  And I love proving them wrong.

I do really like piercings, tattoos, and a lot of really grungy fashion.  And as I continued to get more done, I discovered what I liked more was to be able to prove people wrong.  I love being able to show them that I am so much more than they think me to be.  I love defying their expectations.  Because showing people they’re wrong about you is one of the best feelings in the world.  And maybe, if I’m lucky, I just helped someone out - maybe they won’t be so quick to judge with someone else.

You said you'd love me forever

Though there are exceptions to every instance, most parents do genuinely love their children.  Children are parents’ lives; they’re an extension of themselves, created from their own flesh and blood.  And some parents have star children: polite, hard working, and well rounded.  And these parents adore their children as the light of their days.

So I don’t understand why when these parents find out that their children are gay, it goes from unconditional love to irrevocable hate.  I can understand the dislike, misunderstanding, and aversion to homosexuality.  I may be hurt or offended when I find out people are homophobic, but they’re entitled to their opinion as long as they don’t judge me based solely upon that aspect of my being.

But I cannot understand how a parent can hate a child after loving them so deeply simply because they learn of their sexual nature.  Most likely, that child has been aware of their sexuality for a long, long time before getting the guts to confess it to friends, let alone parents, and I say this because I know it to be true.  So that parent loved that child even when they weren’t heterosexual.  Their child never changed, just the parents’ knowledge of their child.  But they still manage to hate them, just because of who they happen to be attracted to.

This is just one of those, “what they don’t know can’t hurt them,” situations.  Because them knowing can hurt the most, and it’s a chance that just isn’t worth the risk sometimes.

I love your curves

I love the sway of your hips and the curve of your lips.  When you look my way, I couldn’t care less about the way you dress or the color of your flesh.  You’re beautiful, you’re appealing, and you’re a goddess.

Beauty rests in the eye of the beholder, but the eye has constantly changing perceptions.  We are attracted to people we believe to be beautiful.  Beauty used to be based upon one’s ability to produce and care for a family.  That is, strong, quick thinking men, and lustrous, fertile women.

Men used to be attracted to healthy women. Womanly women.  Women with substance and curve.  Now, the predominant view of beautiful women consists of absolutely STUNNING facial features, an extremely slim, yet somehow full bust and butt, physique, and just an overall look that most of us will never come close to.  Men used to be attracted to women who looked like they could handle themselves, whereas now attraction is extremely superficial.

I don’t know why this has changed so much, but I wish I did.  I don’t like really thin girls.  I’m afraid they’re going to break.  I love curvy women, think they’re beautiful in every way, and am reminded of Eve (ironically because I’m far from religious) when I see them.  Curves used to be a symbol that the woman was able to reproduce offspring and bear them without complication.  But that doesn’t appeal to a lot of men now, and I hate that.  Our bodies are what they are.  We don’t have time to make them perfect, as much as we may try.

Attraction used to be linked to health, but all of the things that attract people in modern days seem to be things that encourage unhealthy habits.