Stay classy

I don’t understand the point of “winning the breakup.”

Be them broken up recently or long ago, it’s notorious that two people who used to be in a relationship are usually on bad terms.  They pretend to hate each other.  They talk smack.  They steal friends.  They lie, push, and shove themselves into the position where they think they’re winning the breakup.

That is, the position where they think more people have pity for them than for their ex.

First of all, I don’t understand why people want to be pitied.  I’d rather be commended for what I’m able to overcome than pitied for what I let bring me down.  Secondly, people don’t realize that by doing all of this, they’re really just turning themselves into a worse person.  I believe that the result of a breakup should be gaining knowledge.  Knowledge about yourself, what you need, what you can provide, and most importantly, how you can change yourself into a better person based upon the experiences you’ve had with a significant other.

I look at relationships as experiences and opportunities to grow; the last thing I would think to be logical is by devolving yourself by stooping down so low as “winning” requires.

Lastly, I don’t understand the point of hating an ex.  Unless they did some awful thing to you, there’s nothing really to hate.  They made mistakes, you made mistakes, and it was just another relationship that ran its course, no matter how long or short that happened to be.  Also, unless there was some drastic change in them, or your taste, they’re still the person you got into a relationship with.  Thus, they should still have that one quality that just gets to you; the one irresistible thing that makes them likable to you.  And because they have that, I believe that after a while, being friends with an ex is a really good thing.  Because obviously, there was something about them that made you like them more than you like other people, and it’d be a shame to lose that.

But I guess my point is that I don’t understand why more people don’t just get over it and move on, because it’s sure as hell not easy but it’s definitely not going to change.