Selfless

“Why a doctor?  Why not an artist?”

A friend asked me this the other day, and it caused me to evaluate my reasons for desiring both, and what it’s kind of...saying about me.

I’ve wanted to be a doctor for so long.  I want to help people.  I’ve wanted to help people who actually have legitimate problems.  I don’t have the patience for psychiatry.  I don’t even believe in psychiatry.  I don’t want to listen to people with their fake problems and pretend to understand them, because I most likely won’t.

So I decided I wanted to be an oncologist.  I’m strong, emotionally.  I’m not the kind of person that is going to lose my composure while treating cases as awful as cancer can be.  Cancer patients need someone they can count on, and I’m that person.

I wouldn’t want to leave them to incompetent fools.  I know I can take care of them.

However....over the past few years I’ve discovered my severe love of art.  Art is highly mathematical for me.  Combining two of my favourite areas - math and art - seems like it would just be an ideal future.

So why not an artist?

I feel like being an artist would be a selfish choice.  Obviously, finding employment would not necessarily be easy, but after I did, my life wouldn’t be that hard.  Art school isn’t easy, but I’d bet it’s easier than Med school.  Art is also a form of expression, and it motivates people and helps them through inspiration, but in reality it’s wreaking the greatest benefit to me.  I’m the one that gets to express my ideas and concepts...It’s just up to other people to interpret them.

However, I still feel like it’s an easy way out.

Being a doctor....people would think that’s the selfish decision.  Because I’d be making a lot of money, people would think that would be more gain for myself.  But in all honesty, a lot of people don’t do it because they don’t want to sacrifice the money that it takes to get there...nor the time.  Being a doctor is stressful.  You constantly have to be waiting on people, and you can be called in for any emergency.

Being a doctor is much harder.  It takes more time, money, patience, and understanding.  If I all of the sudden decided to be an artist....I’d feel like I was just taking the easy way out.  And I’m not that kind of person.

I don’t want to be selfish.  I want to be one of those people that starts changing the world through self sacrifice and caring.